Guilty Pleassure
by ThomE.Gemcity-06
Summary: Spolers. Ben knows that what he feels for Tom isn't right, so he'll just do one thing and then he'll burry it; just one kiss. Includes incest: Ben/Tom, unrequited love. Warning.


**a/n: Includes unrequited love: Ben/Tom (incest), nothing too graphic. I have not seen the first season of Falling Skies, only the second season. I hope that I am correct in the characters persona's, but I don't know how old Hal is so I put him three years older than Ben.**

**Summary: **Ben knows that what he feels for Tom isn't right, so he'll just do one thing and then he'll burry it; just one kiss.

**Guilty Pleasure**

Ben stayed at Tom's side after Dr. Glass had taken the bullet out and stopped the bleeding. He couldn't believe that he had shot his father, nearly killed him after not a sight for three months. It was long, too long, and this was how he greeted the man? He was never going to forgive himself, even if Tom had said that anyone could have made this mistake, all the while screaming in pain. But Ben wasn't just anyone, not anymore, not since he had been Harnessed.

He was no longer the sixteen year old who believed in Fairy Tales and Happy Endings. Now, he was the half-freak of nature, with alien spikes sticking out the back on his neck that glowed blue, with accompanying spikes down his spine and sticking out along side it. He now moved like a Jack Rabbit and run half the night without losing breath, he had eyes like a Hawk that made him the best shot in 2nd Mass, super hearing that enabled him to hear for miles, quick reflexes and a harder strength.

He wasn't human, at least, not anymore, not to everyone else; they were all afraid that he was under some sort of mind control form the Skitters, or that he was a spy for the aliens. Matthew was only nine and too young to get it; Hal was three years older than him and did try better, tried to defend him. After what had happened to the world, family was the only thing that mattered and the two of them had grown closer; they were able to talk, but after being Harnessed, there was nothing to talk about. Ben had tried, but Hal would never get it, not matter how hard they tried. Mom was dead, but because of the relationship that they had, it didn't matter. Dad was the only one, even though he had been gone three months and never been Harnessed.

Even before this, Tom had been there, around every corner with a smile of support and love that he didn't have for everyone else, not Hal or Matt, it was almost like the look he had for Mom. Tom never judges him, not about Rick's disappearance, or Jimmy's death - not like everyone else. Ben could hear their whispers, the ones that would suddenly stop when he got into sight, he heard everything, or their looks of suspicion. That was why he always alone, filled every bit with anger and hate - it was all for the Skitters; they did this to him and he was going to kill every last one until he died, or turned it to one of them. But Ben didn't have any reservations about being glued to Tom's side. Tom still thought of him as his son, and human, made Ben feel like a normal boy again, and that was what the boy needed and wanted more than anything.

Ben had shot Tom, and what was the man going to thing when he woke up? Would he feel the same before he passed out? Ben wouldn't be able to handle this place if Tom thought differently of him - if that happened, then all that would be inside him was the emptiness of hatred. Tom was what kept that at bay.

What Ben felt for his Mom was only something that a son could feel for his Mother, and the same went for his brothers. But what he felt for his Dad was not something a son should feel for his Father.

Ben sniffed and wiped the tears away before they could fall, before he took Tom's limp hand in his. He looked down at his father; he was pale and there were drops of sweat collecting on his forehead. Ben reached out, his fingers trembling as he brushed the beads away. He could tell that they were from pain, but some were from fear - Tom was in the throws of reliving past memories of being on the Alien Ship if Ben had to take a guess. Ben did, too, of being Harnessed; he found a simple solution to stopping them - he stopped sleeping. It was why he was so tired now, and if he were anyone else, _normal_, he'd probably be in a coma.

Ben didn't take his fingers away, but instead continued the motion so that his fingers brushed through Tom's hair. "_Shh,"_ he hushed. "It's not real. I won't let anything hurt you, dad." his voice was a rough whisper, "Not again."

What he said was true, of course, he would kill for Tom. After this, he would watch himself, make sure he knew where Tom was at all times so something as disastrous as this would never happen again. He couldn't forgive himself now, so he wasn't sure what would happen if something like _this_ happened again.

He looked down at Tom's wrapped midsection, he could see the red blood on the white, and had to tear his gaze away in guilt and sickness; his fingers tightening around his Father's hand, and his gaze instead landed on Tom's lips. They were parted slightly, and moved every so often, like they were trying to follow the worlds in his unconscious dream.

Ben couldn't take his eyes away from them, he was mesmerized. It was wrong, what he was thinking as he looked at them. He had thought nothing of these feelings, before, when he was younger and life was actually normal; he thought that that was they way that that everyone felt too. It was normal to him, but he couldn't understand why he only felt it for Tom, and not Hal, or Matt, or Mom. But then he grew older and understood that it wasn't normal and he was wrong. Ben tried to fix it by forcing these feelings onto the girls in his class, but it didn't work and only got him sent to the Principle's office; he even tried with the boys in his Gym class, but that got him beat up, suspended and dubbed _fag._ So, he'd just stopped trying.

The smiles, and pats on the back, arm squeezes, and especially the hugs... Ben turned these innocent, Fatherly gestures from Tom, into dirty, guilty, pleasures for himself. It was Ben's dirty, little secret.

He knew that now was not the time for this, for thinking about Tom's lips, but what if he turned Ben away when he woke up? The teen knew that the only solution would be to walk away - from Tom, and 2nd Mass. So, this could be the last chance he had to do anything about these feelings. If this had gone differently, if Tom wasn't injured and currently unconscious. Ben didn't even want to think about what this could be considered. And he instead found himself leaning closer, his eyes flicking between Tom's lips, to his closed eyes. Ben liked his dry lips; he never kissed anyone before, this would be his first and his last.

Ben fashioned his lips like they did in the movies and pressed his lips to Tom's. His breath was taken away, and his eyes slipped closed. He didn't hear the curtain being pulled back over the erratic beat of his heart.

But he did hear the gasp, "_Ben!"_

Ben jumped back from Tom like he was on fire, he should be burning in Hell for this, but instead, his lips were sparking. He was breathing heavy as he jerked his head to Dr. Glass, who was looking at him in horror.

"It's not what it looks like!" he told her, his pale face flushed.

"It looked like you were kissing your father... Inappropriately." she informed him, not pleased in the least. She made to turn around, but Ben lunged at her, grabbing her wrist and jerking her to a halt. She tugged her arm, looking from her wrist, to him. "Ben, let me go."

"No." he told her, his face hard.

"Ben-" she tried in a soothing tone, but the way that she had reacted before, he wasn't buying it.

"It's not what you think." he repeated, glancing back at Tom.

"I'm not one to judge," she told him. "But you have to know that isn't right."

"You don't know what you're talking about," he told her.

"Ben, let me go."

"No. You need to understand, Dr. Glass." Ben's grip on her wrist tightened and she winced at the pressure, he ignored it. This needed to be fixed; he shouldn't have done it in the first place. "You don't know what it's like," he told her in his gravely voice, through clenched teeth. "The way that everyone looks at me, talking behind my back like I'm the freak on display. Dad - he treats me like he always did, like... like I'm just a normal teenager." his voice cracked off at the end.

She sighed in sympathy. "You're not a freak, Ben."

"You've seen me!" Ben growled harshly. "I'm not human, not completely, not anymore."

"So, then, what is this, trying to prove it?"

"Those Skitters wrecked everything!" he yelled and yanked her arm. Tears sprung into his eyes. "Everything was fine. You look at him the same way, I've seen you. You can't help it, so what makes you think that I can?" he cried.

"What you feel isn't right, Ben." she tried to tell him calmly.

"Who says?" he demanded. "The government? You? How come one love is right and the other isn't?"

"He's your father!"

"So, what! I wasn't going to do anything."

"But you did do something,"

"It was just a kiss, we're family."

"Families kiss, but not like that, Ben."

"It was just once," Ben told her, and that was the truth; he couldn't risk more, not now. "That's all."

"You're making excuses."

"So?" he scoffed, and everything about his turned hard. "What are you going to do? If you tell him, he's not going to believe you. You try and tell someone else... I can shoot things other than Skitters." he told her in the heat of it.

She looked at him, frightened now. "Ben..."

"You didn't see anything," he growled to her.

Her breath trembled. "I didn't see anything," she repeated.

Ben glanced behind him at Tom, he was unconscious, unaware of what was happening. He looked back at the doctor, satisfied. He let her arm go, and she took it back, rubbing her wrist. She stepped to the side and he brushed by. When he was out of the bus, he let out a shaky breath; he couldn't believe that had happened - that he had been caught. And that he had threatened to shoot the doctor. All because of a kiss that should have been innocent for anyone else, but was far from it because it was from him. He didn't understand why his feelings had to be wrong, but knew that they were, so other than that one kiss, he wasn't going to do anything about it. As long as Tom still loved him the same when he woke up, and the doctor didn't tell, it would be fine.

Ben would make it fine.

_f_


End file.
